BellaVendetta.com interviews

interviews For December 29th, 2005 :: Miss Meep interviews Audacia Ray!

When you began, your blog was hosted by BlogSpot and there were no pictures
of you - you were basically anonymous. Did you share your blog with anyone
you already knew in real life, and how did you go about meeting people in
real life from your blog?

----
I wrote the first few posts in secret, just to see if I could keep up with
it, and then I told my friends Jane (of http://educatedslut.blogspot.com,
though at the time she was on livejournal) and Jefferson (who in November
2004 started his own blog, http://onelifetaketwo.blogspot.com) about it.
Once I figured out how the whole linking thing worked, I linked to my friend
Rachel Kramer Bussel's Lust Lady (http://lustylady.blogspot.com) blog and
she started to spread the word about what I was doing at Waking Vixen. I
also told my boyfriend at the time about it, though he decided that he wasn't interested in being a reader. So - although there's always a degree of
secrecy to a sex blog, my close friends knew about it early on. I have also
had a few funny moments with friends finding out about it - one friend found
my blog after he discovered an alt porn site I was on (a bit of a double
whammy there), a bunch of my ex's friends found out about it after I was
featured on Fleshbot last May, and one longtime friend who I'd lost touch
with commented last winter without knowing it was me (the last time I saw
her I'd had buzzed green hair, no glasses and looked way more butch than I
do today).

In general, I've been a bit squeamish about meeting readers, unless they are
also bloggers themselves or work in the sex industry in some capacity. Part
of the apprehension about meeting people via the blog is that they know a wh
ole hell of a lot about me, while at the same time they don't know me at
all - and if they aren't a blogger or out exposing themselves in some way,
they have a bit of an unfair advantage, because there's no way I can know
that much about them. Another part of it is that I'm also a little bit
afraid that I somehow won't live up to their expectations of me. I'm very
aware that there is always a divide between how I appear on the screen (in
both the written and photographic senses) and how I am in real life, which
isn't necessarily a bad thing, but that it could make the dynamic of meeting
people thoroughly weird. Also, as much of an exhibitionist as I am, I can
also be a bit shy.

What made you decide to gradually become more public with your "Pervland"
side? You're not just on (awesome) pervy sites like BV, but you have an
entire full-page picture of you (which is adorable, by the way) in Time Out
New York. Has this changed your everyday life or your relationships? (for
example, before the TONY issue came out, you wrote about how to tell your
parents about your sex/porn/pervy side.)

----When I started the blog I was working out a way to live two separate but
sort of equal, sort of parallel lives, but after about six months of that I
realized that I was miserable, confused and mixed up because of it. Instead
of eliminating the "secret" life, I brought the sex stuff to the forefront
and decided to really commit myself to doing work in and around sexuality,
since my life in the Straight World was increasingly taking a back seat to
my sex-related work. The decision to go public with a life that most people
think should remain private - or not exist at all - is a big and risky
choice, one that I probably don't fully comprehend yet, and will likely
spend years learning about and dealing with. I think it's a worthwhile thing
to do, though I know that I'm basically making a big gamble and hoping for
the best.

I do think that having such an out sex life makes people wary about getting
involved with me on that level, and it's an additional thing to negotiate
around. At the same time, I know that some of my partners have gotten really
excited about being blogged by me and having people read about our fun. A
kind of funny side effect of writing about my sex life and sex in general is
that people assume that I get laid way more than I actually do. Another
funny thing that happened a lot right after the TONY article and in certain
social circles is that people will say things like, "You look really
familiar." to which I say, "You've probably seen me naked." At that point
they either look super embarrassed or their eyes light up and they have lots
of questions.

How did it feel to go from being one on end of things (editing porn, working
at the Museum of Sex) to actually being a sex worker, or was it more of a
continuum?

----To use a word that some may think is wildly inappropriate for this case - it
felt natural. In the late eighteenth century and throughout the nineteenth
century as novels became more widely read, there was a continuous debate
about the degenerative effects novel-reading would have on the minds and
morals of young women - I like to joke that this is exactly what happened to
me. I got the knowledge, the mind-expansion and the degenerate viewpoint
from books and people I met along the way, got the curiosity bug, and ended
up a sex worker and porn performer. The horrors!

I've always been deeply curious about all facets of sexuality - but I'm very
much a person who lives inside my own head, so the idea of experiencing my
curiosity first hand initially was somewhat terrifying but also totally
seductive. I insulated myself by learning as much as possible and then as I
met more people who were living out their sexual and relationship dreams and
staying happy, healthy and sane, I ventured off in that direction myself. I
definitely feel like these experiences have all been on a continuum, and
that exploring sexuality with this very first-hand approach has connected my
mind and body in a really powerful way.

What do you hope to see on BV in the future? Any particular ideas or
fantasties you'd like to see played out by the Krew (or yourself)?

----I'm keen to see how the Revenge Krew evolves as a sexual community - I mean
that in kind of a broad sense. Though I personally masturbate to fantasies
of group play amongst Krew members, I'm not sure how realistic that is - but
a girl can dream. Mass Krew orgy fantasies aside, I would love to see more
sets with two or more models, because the interactions you can get with
multiple model shoots can be just amazing, especially with such an
interesting, creative and filthy bunch of people.

One of your recent blog posts notes your "existential crisis" that lots of
bloggers (and writers in general) face, which is how to censor yourself,
what to keep for yourself, how much to share with your audience. I think
this is especially true for people who write about sex. How are you
readjusting your boundaries now that you are more publically "out," for lack
of a better term?

----Part of the process of doing Waking Vixen has about learning how to
negotiate between personal and professional aspects of my sexuality and
learning about where the lines are with regards to personal exposure (and
especially exposure of others) in my writing. These are problems that will
probably always remain unsolved for me, but will also keep me up at night.

I feel like I'm entering a kind of phase two of my work with Waking Vixen,
and in many ways that includes pulling back from the more personal stuff I'
ve written about in the past. In some ways this is a loss and it makes me
sad to not be blogging the emotional drama and hot sex in my life, but in
others, it's an immense gain. The fact that I spent more than a year writing
detailed and erotic accounts of almost all of my sexual experiences was
really taking a toll on me, the way I think about my sexuality, and also on
my partners. For the moment, I'm just letting my sex life exist behind
closed doors (well, kinda) though those stories may make appearances on my
blog or elsewhere in the future.

--
Audacia Ray
dacia@wakingvixen.com
http://wakingvixen.com

interviews For December 28th, 2005 :: Onyx interviews brian Decker!

Brian Decker has been a well-known body modification artist for quite some time. With his unique procedures and kind personality he has become legendary in this field. Many people travel from all over the world to get work done by him.
Recently he has opened a new shop, which is a wonderful chapter of his life.
If you’ve ever wanted to know more about who Brian is you’re soon to find out about how he came to be the wonderful artist whom he has grown to be.

Name. Brian Decker
Age. 30
Location. Brooklyn, NY
Profession. Body Modification Artist
Website. www.purebodyarts.com

How old were you when you first became interested in body modification?
-------I was probably between 10 and 12 years old when I first started frequenting 80’s metal shows in huge arenas that were swamped with heavily tattooed and pierced people I wanted to be just like when I grew up. That, along with my grandfather’s sailor piece on his forearm.

Did you ever think that you would ever become a body modification artist?
-------For the better part of growing up I always wanted to be a doctor, then after developing regular anxiety attacks in high school, I started thinking more about psychology. Following getting my first tattoo in 1993 I found myself hanging out at tattoo shops fairly regularly. After starting college in 1994 where I first started to heavily study body piercing and anatomy, I realized then, that was what I was most interested in doing with my life.

What were the steps that you took in order to get where you are now?
-------I’ve never taken on a full apprenticeship, although I really wanted to with Phish, then working in West Hartford, CT. That didn’t work out, for whatever reasons, so I continued to do personal research on safe, aseptic technique and procedural steps before finally practicing piercing on myself, then friends. As well, those are the same steps I’ve taken with each of the procedures I began working with afterward. With modification being such a huge part of my life and the love for it I have in my heart, I literally probably spend 85% of my life thinking about it, researching it, studying, practicing, etc. and I think it shows in my work. BME has certainly had a lot to do with being able to show people what I was capable of, my progression, as well as giving me the opportunity to talk with other people interested in my work.

How often would you practice on yourself?
--------Definitely a whole lot. There was a time when I probably had more than 20 ear piercings, my labret, eyebrow, multiple nostril piercings, nipple, navel, apadravya, and a few surface piercings, all self-done. This was long before surface work was done as intelligently as it is today, so those didn’t heal very well, but everything else did. The first navel I scalpelled was my own, as well as my first earlobe hole relocation. Both of those healed great. My lobes are a healthy 28mm right now and after not having anything in my navel for many years, I can still fit a 6g piece in there.
I also did quite a few implants on myself before touching anyone else. I had a CBR with no bead in my forearm for quite awhile; a large circular bb in my hand that a friend at the time made for me, and some randomly placed balls and rods.

How did your family and/or friends react to this?
-------Even after my first tattoo, my mother nearly had a heart attack. I think my father just thought I was an idiot. Neither one of them understood how much these things meant to me. Nowadays, my mother supports me and is very happy with what I’ve done for myself, but until I became fairly high profile, she still had her little heart attacks every time I’d do something new. Maybe she still does? The friends I’ve chosen over the years, though, have never looked down on anything I’ve done.

Have you had any relationships break up due to your extreme body modification, beliefs, and dedication to your work, experimentation?
--------I really don’t think so, but I’m sure it’s quite possible it could happen. Regarding my dedication, I do spend a lot of time dealing with my work in one way or another, and it’s not entirely unfeasible that someone may get bored with it if they don’t have the same adoration for it as I do. I’m fairly certain my relationships have never ended over a particular modification, though. Now, my beliefs are a different story. I have definitely ended relationships over disagreements between what I hold dear to me, personally, unrelated to modification work.

Where do you hope to go with your career? Are you planning any new techniques in order to better the world of body modification?
--------The only thing I want to do is to continue learning and growing with the industry and it’s new techniques. I’m always thinking up new ideas, and I’m sure some of them with grow into something, but since the punch and elevate surface technique, nothing that compares.

Can you talk a little bit more about the punch elevate technique and your involvement with it.
--------This was an idea I adopted after I became versed with standard, transdermal implants. The key to healing any piercing, aside from proper aftercare, is keeping pressure to a minimum. If there’s any tension on the skin from the jewelry there is a good chance your body will slowly work it out of your body. With surface piercing, there is virtually no way to make a pocket through the skin WITH A NEEDLE and insert ANY jewelry without putting some pressure on the skin. To avoid this, I began shaping the jewelry AND pocket to fit the anatomy. by punching out two small 1.5mm cylinders of skin at each entrance, perpendicular to the body, and using a small tool to open the skin between the two entrances, I’m able to make a hole that perfectly fits the jewelry to any person’s body, in any area. Since I stopped using needles for surface piercing success rates have grown exponentially. Another perk is it hurts less than with a needle!


What are your thoughts on body modification becoming so mainstream as of lately? Do you ever get sick of sixteen-year-old girls getting their navels pierced?
---------Honestly, I just love working. It matters much more to me the personality of the person I’m working on than what I’m doing. I could easily have a good time doing navels all day, so long as the clients are all pleasant to be with. Just the same, I could be doing a really nice scarification piece, but if the person getting it is a complete jerk-off, I’m just going to be wishing I were done already.


Being who you are do you ever get any celebrities come to you for any work? If so, out of them who are you able to identify?
---------Honestly, just porn stars. I don’t think I’ve ever worked on any nationally recognized figures beyond that. I’ve done work for Raylene, then working for Vivid Videos, whom I actually got to become good friends with. Kendra Jade was asking for me to redo her Madison, but we just never ended up doing it. I knew her personally for a while, too. Her sister kept asking me out, but I just wasn’t feeling it. Jenna Jameson asked for work as well, but again, nothing….

What have you personally contributed towards Bella Vendetta and how do you know Bella herself?
---------I met Bella a long time ago at a shop I was working at in Connecticut. Her boyfriend at the time came to get some work done and she came along. I really thought she was just weird at the time, but from what she tells me, she thought the same of me. She spent most of the time at the shop sitting on the floor contorting herself and that, to me, was a little odd. As far as what I’ve contributed, mostly I’ve been helping with suspension related events. Throwing hooks and tying knots. Fully clothed. 

What are your thoughts on the porn industry?
----------I admit I do have a pretty large video collection. But, they’re mostly all quality plot films. I used to collect them, actually, but haven’t gotten anything new in ages. I appreciate the stars more than the sex, I think. I even have a few videos with people I know in them that the sex was edited out. The shop in Connecticut was adjacent to an adult store and we would go in there all the time, borrowing videos, buying crap, picking favorite actresses… It was a novelty, really. We’d collect the movie posters and glossies, we’d go to the clubs to watch the features dance (which is where I met most of them), get polaroid’s taken and autographed, etc…. I loved it. The crew from the shop quickly became regular VIPs at a particular club and anytime there was a “reputable” feature, we’d be there.

What do you prefer videos, photos or written erotica?
----------- I definitely prefer movies to photos or writings. I watch them as if they were just regular movies with sex in them. I don’t really own any porn that doesn’t have a decent plot. Or at least “try” to have one.

We also know that you’ve done quit a bit of modification work on Bella herself, what were some of the procedures you did on her? And did she sit well? Or squirm around like a little brat?
-------Bella always whines, but sits very well. As much as she complains the entire time, she doesn’t move enough to affect the work. I’ve done two scarification pieces on her, as well as a surface project on her chest quite some years ago. That was before I’d even started using surface bars! The scar on her chest is actually a large star meant to camouflage the scars from the piercings she removed. That was also a really long time ago. I’d love to even it out now. The other scars were simple lines we put under her left boob that she asked to be packed with her mom’s ashes afterward. I felt really honored that she wanted me to be a part of that, actually.

We all know you like to collect videos with porn stars in them, but what are your thoughts about the recent “alt porn” rise? Do you like seeing people you’ve done work on strutting their stuff for the camera? Or do you prefer fake breasted blondes etc?
----------It’s always fun to see my work in any publication. And, it’s always interesting for me to see my friends or acquaintances engaged in any sort of sexual encounter, but in the end, like I said, it’s the idea of the porn star that thrills me. She doesn’t even have to be that “hot”, just famous. Of course, the girls I date are not much like either.

Speaking of watching more “mainstream” porn, do you think theres any truth to the thought that tattooed boys really want “normal” looking girls? Or vice versa? Do you typically go for women who are also into modification or have you have relationships with non-modified women? If so, did their disinterest in your work cause any stress on the relationship?
---------- I’m always more interested in girls who are interested in modification in some way, because it’s a huge part of my life and a lot of what I like to talk about. Even if it only goes as far as “mainstream” piercings or simple, small tattoos, the girls I date are almost always somehow involved with modification. Personally, I don’t care if she has any tattoos, piercing, implants, etc., as long as I don’t bore her with my conversation and she doesn’t with me. I can’t speak for others, though, since modification work takes up so much of my life, unlike your normal, average tattooed boy.

Can you tell us a little bit about the shop you recently opened? Who’s working there, what it’s all about and where it’s located?
-----------I opened PURE BODY ARTS in early/mid august after leaving my old shop, for whatever reason. I couldn’t find any shops in the city whose standards I would be comfortable working, who would cater many of the things I do. So, if I wanted to stay in NYC, this was my option. The shop is located in East Williamsburg, Brooklyn, off the L train or J,M,Z line. The tattoo artist is The Milk Maid., who does really great work, and you can see some of it on the website. (AKA The revenge krew’s MILKMAID)

Has it been very hard for you to own your own business? Do you regret doing it?
-----------Starting a new shop has been very difficult, yes. Both mentally and economically. I wouldn’t say I regret it. Not yet, anyhow. But, it can be a bit discouraging waiting for people to hear about you and realize you’re there and worth going to, all the while sitting there doing nothing. Luckily, I have a great following of clients, friends, etc. who come to get work from me regardless of where I am, so that keeps my head above water. I admit, I had no idea what I was in for before I started and had I known, perhaps I may have taken a different route. But, for now, I’m gonna stick with it and do my best to make things work out how I’d planned.

And lastly: What sort of things do you see in the future of your shop, what do you hope for?
-----------What I hope for, more than anything, is to educate people about the importance of safety with tattooing and piercing as well as teaching the formulas that make up quality work. I hope for people to learn there is a shop in NYC where the staff cares about what the client wants and understands the steps it takes to give them that, comfortably and safely. There are just too many shops nowadays where tattooists and piercers are not in it for life. It’s a side job or temporary money solution, or just a job that’s accessible with the numerous tattoos and facial piercings they’ve gotten which hinder employment someplace else. People need to understand it takes a long time to learn to do what we do properly and understand WHY we’re doing what we do to keep things running cleanly. Without the “why” knowledge, when there’s a question or problem, there’s no way to find a solution, but with many shops, there’s just no motivation to learn….that’s just too much extra work, it seems…..